The Happenstance Pathologist
by cabinetofcuriousity
Summary: Roped into being a stand-in for her study partner's internship, our girl has a run in with Sherlock and Dr. Watson. After a memorable first impression, our favorite consulting detective and our stand-in enter a stand-off. Who will be the first to break? Expect some mystery and high jinx to ensue as well.
1. The Favor

Looking studious, the girl with the thick black glasses lounged in a soft rolling chair in the only quiet room of the library she could find. Although, partially empty, it turned out to be the dustiest. There was a lingering smell of moldy books, dust, and fresh bleach wafting through the air. Her sandy blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun to keep from getting in her face. Her glasses sat perched upon the end of her nose, thick black frames and even thicker lenses. Without them, she was practically blind. Sight was, in her opinion, her Achilles heel. Contact lenses had been tried multiple times throughout her adolescence but there was something about sticking an object into her eye socket that left a foul taste in her mouth and a nauseous feeling in her stomach. She was what her mother had called _"petite" _but at the same time rather voluptuous. Her waist was thin and trim, as were her arms and legs. Her hips and chest, however, seemed to attract the leers of many strange (usually older than her father) men and the attention of many sex-crazed young boys who refused to keep their hands to themselves.

Next to her sat her lab partner, Enola. A short, skinny girl from Northern Ireland. Unlike the stereotypes perpetuated by the entertainment industry (not all Irish are pale and red-headed), she was quite dark-skinned with dark black hair and blue eyes. Her face was thin and sharp but at the same time held a sort of wiry elegance, usually it was covered in a liberal amount of make-up in various shades depending on the girl's mood. Her chest and hips were flat as a board in comparison to her partner, but what she lacked in looks, she made up for in popularity and confidence.

The two had become fast friends in lab, although they were completely different in terms of demeanor and social skills. Enola was, like stated previously, very outgoing and social and known to host a long line of male suitors. There were many instances of men actually fighting each other over Enola. Yes, Enola was the life of the party with a tender heart that led her to look past people's imperfections. The older and more reserved of the two, the petite blonde, was more inclinded to study and stay hidden inside of her flat reading or doing something frivolous. Sarcastic and cynical, she wasn't inviting and was definitely not the life of the party. In university, she could count the number of friends and associates she had made on one hand. She refused to go to social functions and generally spent most of her time holed up in the library or working her part time job at a small Thai restaurant on the corner near her home. As for men, the only suitors she received seemed to be men way older than herself or young men who seemed to be barely out of puberty. There is _nothing_ like a young man in braces trying to spit some game at you.

So, here she sat, leafing through her textbook and feeling a bit anxious about the final exam that loomed before them. She caught quick glimpses of Enola every so often but was overall, lost in her own train of thought. Enola looked towards her study partner; her head perched on her hand, elbows on the table. She had been anxiously trying to catch her friend's attention without disturbing her but ultimately decided to break the silence,

"_So….._Louie, are you going to be able to fill in for me tonight or what?"

Her brain felt fuzzy and static as she drifted between thoughts of herself and Enola and the huge astronomy final looming in their near future. Side effects from the high dosage of Adderall she had taken an hour or two before her cram session with Enola had begun. This exam was like the boogeyman in her mind and she was feeling a bit lackluster about putting all of these hours into studying. She wanted to go home and hide under her blankets until it all went away. Back and forth her thoughts raced as she tried to remember how a spectroscopic parallax works and why it was important…to astronomy…_or anyone in in general_. She stared off into the distance, biting her lip, trying to remember but at the same time enjoying the high that went along with this feeling of total control.

"_Louise!_" Enola hissed waving her hand in her face, snapping Louise out of her thoughts.

Shaking her head, she begrudgingly looked towards her lab partner, "_What?_ What's wrong?"

"Are you or are you not going to fill in for me at my internship tonight?" She frowned, raising an eyebrow towards Louise, "Raffey wants me to meet his parents…"

Louise rolled her eyes disapprovingly; she was not and would never be fond of Raffey Pike. When they met, he had looked her over like a lion looking for its prey and as soon as Enola left the room he was making sure Louise had his number. Plus...he wasn't very presentable and seemed to have the showering habits of a homeless man. Louise looked into Enola's eyes, pleading but hopeful at the same time. They reminded her of when her mother's Yorkshire terrier would beg her for table scraps. _Oh dear God, she really though he was the one._ A look of disappointment washed over her features. She sighed deeply, finally putting down the book that was obstructing her face.

"I suppose.." Louise said flatly, clucking her tongue, "But you owe me one, most definitely."

Enola clapped her hands in joy, hopping up and running over to the other side of the table, wrapping them around Louise's neck and squeezing. "Thank you!..Thank you!"she squealed like a child on Christmas morning.

"_En…e …En..ola…_" Louise wheezed, "_I…can't…breathe…_"

"Opps!" Enola quipped, she was momentarily shocked as her actions but immediantly let go of her friend's neck. She held her hands up like she was surrendering, "I'm sorry Louie! I'm just so excited." She grinned again, making her way back to the other side of the table and taking a seat.

"_Well.._" Louise coughed, color returning to her face, "Like I said..just plan on owing me one. _You_ know I'm not familiar with your major so I'm just going to be flying by the seat of my pants here."

"Don't worry Louie, you're smart and the girl I'm under is very kind and will let you know what to do." Enola smiled as she packed up her things and threw her bag over her shoulder.

She tore a piece of paper out of her notebook, scribbling down the address and other details of where Louise needed to report to. "Don't worry she's a literally the sweetest pathologist you'll ever meet. When you get downstairs, just ask for Molly Hooper. I'll make sure she knows you're coming, m'kay…"

Louise frowned as took the piece of paper from Enola. She was thoroughly unconvinced about the ease of her forray into pathology. She wasn't even a science major! Although, _thanks to her lovely parents_, she was well versed in many different scientific disciplines. Ultimately, much to her parent's disdain, she had decided to focus her studies on archaeology and art history. Utterly useless in their eyes but the bread and butter of her sanity. And, of course, she thought it high time for her to turn the tables on them after being forced into so many useless and uninteresting activities during her youth.

"Louie, trust me, it'll be a breeze." Enola smiled as she began to make her way to the door, turning back to wave at her once more. "Thank you!" she mouthed, practically glowing.

Louise grimaced once more thinking about Raffey and his overt…body odor. A protective feeling suddenly began to surge through her body. "Just don't get engaged…_yet_!" she shouted after Enola, "_Or knocked up!_"

The sudden boisterous explosion from Louise caused heads to snap in her general direction. The inevitable dirty looks followed. "_What?_" she snapped, furrowing her brow, "I'm just trying to be a_ good friend_." She stuck her tongue out at her audience like a small child before sinking into her chair. She snatched her textbook back up and engrossed herself back into her studies.


	2. First Impressions

Enola had been right about one thing, Molly Hooper was the kindest pathologist she had ever met (besides budding pathologist Enola, she happened to be the only one). One might even venture to describe Miss Hooper as saccharine sweet. She could see why Enola would get along with this woman, they were both tender hearted from what she could tell. Although, while Enola was very outgoing, Molly Hooper reminded her of a shy doe….or maybe a frightened chihuahua. The woman had apologized to her more times than she could count in the whole hour and half she had been there. Louise wanted to shake her and scream, "You're a pathologist! You're an accomplished grown woman who runs her own lab! _Now act like it_!" Louise shook her head, thinking to herself, _"That…would be in bad taste…"_

A sweet, soft voice cut through the air, pulling her away from her thoughts. "Louise…" Molly smiled tapping her shoulder, "I'm going to head upstairs for a bit." Louise nodded, trying not to look completely confused. She felt panic surge through her brain at the thought of being left alone, she bit back her desire to mention her fear and simply smiled, "Sure thing, Dr. Hooper."

Molly smiled, nodding. She made her way to the door, as she was about to disappear she stopped abruptly. Louise internally groaned, she didn't want any more assignments. "Oh! I forgot to mention, two friends…erm..colleagues…are on their way down to use the lab." She bit her lip, chuckling softly, "So don't be distressed if two strange men appear out of nowhere!"

Dr. Hooper turned to leave again before stopping once more, as if she just remembered something important, "Um…one is a bit hard to handle." Louise's features fell in frustration. She was going to be saddled with a crabby potbellied old man pathologist. She tried to hide her disdain and discomfort but it was written all over her face. Molly noticed and immediately felt a surge of regret for scaring the poor girl, "Don't worry! He'll leave you to your business or I'll give him one for… Just…don't be bothered if he tries to figure out your life story without saying so much as hello!"

Who tries to discern a person's life story after meeting them for the first time? Louise gave Molly a puzzled look before nodding, feeling a tiny bit of reassurance, "Oh don't worry Dr. Hooper…I think I can handle it." Molly smiled once more, "I should be back soon. I'll bring you some coffee."

"Thank you." Louise responded turning her head back to her work. As Molly made her way out of the room, Louise heard her call back, "By the way…you're doing a wonderful job!" Louise didn't reply…she was pretty certain Molly Hooper was simply trying to butter her up because whoever was coming was too insufferable that even she didn't want to deal with them.

Forty minutes had passed with no sign of Molly's visitors. Louise tapped her pen on the table as she observed slides of different pathogens. A textbook filled with crucial information sat beside her along with a note pad filled with her own notes…as well as some unflattering sketches of Enola. Her personal favorite, was a lovely rendition of Enola in a witch's hat with a large nose topped with a pretty gruesome wart on the end. Childish yes, but she was a bit bitter about being roped into working in the lab tonight. She groaned to herself, thinking about how she could be home curled up with a great big book.

She yawned, slipping off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose in annoyance. The Adderall was wearing off. She bit her lip as she slipped her glasses back on, turning her gaze towards the clock. She began to wonder if she could make time move faster by using her mind. Obviously silly, but it was something to distract her till Dr. Hooper made her way back downstairs. Maybe she was a really a mutant with superpowers who could stop time. It would explain how distant and difficult her parents were towards her all of her life. Louise chuckled to herself, amused; she had obviously been reading too many comic books. She leaned forward on the lab table, perched on the lab stool, staring at the clock intently, squinting and hoping for something to happen.

Just as Louise focused fully on the clock, the double doors of the lab shot open. Louise felt like she flew six feet into the air out of fright. She toppled over into the floor. "Oi!" she groaned in annoyance. Molly's visitors must be here, perfect timing! A perfect first impression! "Bloody hell…" she sighed, holding back a barrage of curse words that would make even her dead ancestors curl up in embarrassment. She hopped to her feet, straightening the white lab coat she was wearing as she adjusted her glasses. She finally began to take a good look at the two men who stood before her.

The first man she saw stood there staring at her. He looked a bit embarrassed and guilty, and was rather short compared to his companion. He also looked a bit older…whether he was or if he just aged early on in his life, she couldn't tell. His posture was ramrod straight and his demeanor friendly. He looked a bit like a proper military man in a ghastly Christmas sweater from his Gram. The other man, was tall and thin, and rather posh looking. With cheekbones that could cut glass, Louise would've guessed he'd done some modeling in a past life. Unlike his colleague, he did not seem as approachable. From the look on his face one might even discern he was annoyed by the whole situation unfolding in front of them.

The first man started to move in Louise's direction. "Look…" he started, a worried expression plastered upon his handsome features. "Are you al-.." Louise cut him off, waving her hand in front of her to imply she was fine. "Oh…let's just _forget_ that happened…" she said trying to appear as charming as possible, "I'm completely fine." She repeated her mantra over and over in her mind trying to calm herself from the anxiety she had felt just a moment ago, _"For Enola…For Enola…For Enola…Goddamnit Enola you really owe me one now!"_

"It's not fine, _obviously_." The taller man commented, walking over towards where she was standing. He looked into her eyes, staring at her at first; before he let his eyes begin to scan her body. At first, Louise thought about socking him in the jaw. She was used to lechers leering at her like a piece of meat in a butcher shop window. But this…his looks, seemed to be something else entirely. She didn't feel sexually harassed as much as freaked out, like she was under a microscope. It was like he was trying to stare into her soul. She frowned awkwardly, looking from the shorter man to the taller man, nobody was saying anything.

Louise stared back into his eyes, squinting, challenging him to do or say something untoward. He continued to stare at her face, body, and she swore she saw him glance towards her satchel sitting in the corner. "Are you usually this…friendly, eh?" she mused, raising an eyebrow, looking back towards the dapper fellow, who now stood next to her wearing his Grandmother's sweater. "What's up with him, eh?" she asked. The man shook his head in shame, looking defeated, "Sherlock. Must you do this to everyone?"

The taller one, Sherlock, ignored his colleague and seemed to be finishing up whatever weird creepy ritual he was trying to do. "Are you done now? Can I move?" Louise asked sarcastically, her arms crossed in defensive mode, sighing. That's when it hit her, Molly Hooper! Oh, sweet poor Molly who had to deal with this nutter on the regular. She told Louise he was going to figure out her life story within a few moments glance but she hadn't expected this. This was hardly a glance. "Well?" she asked, starting to wonder what would happen if she just cut her losses and ran.

"You're a student…" Sherlock said softly. Louise nodded, not feeling overtly impressed as his observation. "You're a very clever student although no genius. You're an intern - no wait, you're filling in for a friend. Enola, I believe…I've seen her here quite often following Molly around like a small child. You're a bit older than most of your classmates because you started school a bit later, probably 24 or 25. Correct?"

Louise started to speak before he interrupted her again. "Judging from the late start, you took some years off. Traveling around India as well as Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and you even spent a few months in Thailand, I believe. Likely, to anger your parents, who you resent with a burning passion. Although, you still condescend to take their money to get by. You're bitter and angry that they've always had you under their thumb. You chose a major that would displease them, although it's something you've always wanted to do. They never thought the arts were worthwhile. They wanted you to become a doctor and get married, pushing out a few unlucky grandchildren along the way. You're a loner and well-read, you have no romantic attachments let alone any real friends. That's why you decided to fill in for Enola, she's the only one who you can tolerate long enough to have a consistent relationship with and even then all you two do is study together. You end up doing her favors so she can go out and party, while you work a sloppy part-time position in a restaurant and study..."

He trailed off after the statement about Enola, he looked particularly smug and ridiculous with his hands clasped behind his back. Sherlock, as he was called, seemed pretty pleased with his deduction and seemed to be waiting on her to reply or for some angry outburst...or even tears. The other man just stood silently, trying to appear distracted by the slides that were now splayed all over the floor from Louise's fall earlier. He gently began to pick them up, placing them back into their box. The only thing that had peaked her anger were the comments he had made about Enola. Louise's issues with her parents were common knowledge, which she would openly share with the public if the moment saw fit, but sweet little Enola using her? _Never_. She wouldn't believe even if it were somehow true. _Not even if it were staring her in the face_.

Louise had not let her temper show and she did not intend on letting him leave a chink in her armor. It would only give him satisfaction. She decided to act aloof and uninterested. "Am I supposed to be impressed by that?" she quipped, crossing her arms once more. "Y'know...you were wrong about a few things in there. I'll let you figure it out though. You seem to be very skilled at your...little game.." She smirked, mentally patting herself on the back.

Ignoring Sherlock's look of surprise she turned towards the smaller man, "Thank you so much for helping me with that..." Louise crossed over towards him, taking the slides out of his hands and sitting them back on the table top. "I don't think I caught your name, sir?" The shorter man glanced towards his friend. Sherlock stood there stiff as a board, his mouth slightly agape, looking surprised and maybe even a tiny bit defeated. Sherlock, at that exact moment, resembled a small child who had just been sent to his room. Louise was soon grinning, unable to hold back. "I'm John...er...Dr. John Watson. And please, the sir isn't necessary..." he smirked, "I'm sorry about Sherlock here...he usually has better manners."

"I'm sure that's usually the case." she responded sarcastically, playfully winking at John. A fit of coughs from the behind them cut into the conversation, Louise glanced back at Sherlock as she raised an eyebrow curiously. Was he really this upset that she wasn't disturbed about all of this? She sighed, ignoring him, and reaching out to shake John's hand, "Well your friend was right about one thing, I am filling in for my friend...Enola Higgs? I don't know if you've seen her out and about 'round here but she couldn't make it in today."

John nodded shaking her hand firmly, then letting go, "Well I haven't noticed her around but _obviously_..." John motioned towards Sherlock standing a few feet away as he shrugged. Louise chuckled, covering her mouth as she pushed her glasses back on the bridge of her nose. "Well, my name's Louise...Palmer...or Louie as my father calls me. After tonight, though, I don't expect you'll see much of me unless I'm hanging 'round Enola or Dr. Hooper for some reas -..."

She cringed as a dark booming voice rang out, cutting her off mid-sentence. "_What_...did I get wrong?" Sherlock demanded as he made his way back over towards Louise. He leaned over close to her, staring directly into her eyes. His behavior might have intimidated someone else but Louise wasn't willing to let him win after he had made a complete and total arse out of himself and insulted Enola. Their faces were so close they were practically touching. The whole situation resembled previous school yard brawls as a scrawny ugly duckling that had been outnumbered on more than one occasion. She would not lay down for school yard bullies and she refused to do so for this...this peculiar man.

A few minutes passed as they still stared into one another's faces. Louise's expression softened a bit as she looked into this man's face. He was peculiar but not threatening, at least in her opinion. When she first observed his face and his general demeanor, all she saw was a petulant child trapped in the body of a very posh looking adult male. Upon second observation, she began to notice the nuances of his skeletal structure, framed by a mop of shaggy brown hair. The hilarious way that he held all of his tension in his mouth. The demanding nature of his eyes had suddenly seemed to be replaced with a burning curiosity.

Their faces were still inches apart as Louise parted her lips. She let her facial muscles melt away into a look of concern as she uncrossed her arms. Sherlock noticed and seemed to be momentarily taken aback. She smiled weakly at him as he noticed the curvature of her mouth, her soft skin, and all of the perfections and imperfections that made up her delicate features. This awkward staring lasted for what seemed like an eternity. John stood awkwardly in front of the two, watching this very peculiar and uncomfortable standoff. He looked down at his watch and then back towards the two feuding parties. He coughed loudly into his hand in an attempt to break then tension.

John's gentle meddling had snapped both them out of their thoughts. Sherlock jumped back abruptly and looked around. He began to stare sternly at Louise once more as he buttoned up his suit jacket. Like John, he coughed awkwardly into his hand before speaking. "_What_...what did I get wrong?" he demanded again, looking a little more composed than he was moments before. Honestly, he hadn't gotten a damn thing wrong about her but she figured a man like him needed to be humbled. He would not win, Sherlock would not beat her. She crossed her arms, looking a little angry this time albeit completely prepared for their next standoff. She smirked, raising an eyebrow coyly, "Isn't Sherlock a _girl's name_?"


End file.
